fandomsandfeminism:

papirouge:

abortionists using the “it’s not a whole/fully developed human!!” card to justify killing unborn babies shouldn’t be anywhere near kids

I’m just gonna use this post as a reminder that we don’t need to bother with this argument about whether or not a fetus is a person.

And this isn’t to send a swarm of people after this OP, please. It just seemed like a decent enough opportunity to address this, to open a dialogue for anyone to ask questions without it being a “who can say the meanest snarkiest thing” competition. This OP is correct in that trying to argue that a fetus isn’t human, or that the age of a human should be tied to its fundamental rights is… flawed. Messy. (Now, there ARE meaningful differences between a fetus and an infant, and we do have many other rights that are granted when reaching age milestones. But we really don’t need to even wade into those murky waters- leave that to the rabbis and philosphers, not the government.)

Pro-lifers want to treat a fetus as though it is indistinguishable from an infant. Well, ok. Sure. A fetus can be a person. Their personhood still doesn’t override my own.

An infant isn’t entitled to the body or organs or another person, regardless of need. The government isn’t forcibly harvesting blood from people in order to sustain dying infants in the NICU. The government isn’t passing laws that people MUST use their own breastmilk to feed infants under penalty of law. The government isn’t denying people access to their medications because it would make them unviable as a bone marrow donor to their infant, even if that infant needed a bone marrow transplant to live.

The government should not be able to deny you power over your own physical body for the benefit of another person. Doing so turns your body into government property. The fact that another person might *really really really* need your body doesn’t make your body community property.

Bodily autonomy is a human right, and it should not be infringed upon just because a person becomes pregnant.

Abortion access, as a manifestation of bodily autonomy, is critically important in terms of harm reduction, protecting the legal and social standing of people who can become pregnant, and a safeguard of our personhood. The ability to become pregnant makes us a uniquely vulnerable class of people in many, many ways. Abortion access protects our physical, mental, and legal safety. It’s a fail safe. A safety net. A back up option.

I know that’s a kind of…clinical explanation, and I’m happy to go into more detail if you don’t know what I mean by any of it. Some of it may sound kind of bizarre if you aren’t familiar with the facts and situations I’m alluding to here. So please, let me know if you want a deeper explanation.

But I want to assure you, my very firm pro-choice stance is not rooted in dehumanizing the fetus. It’s in the steadfast affirmation of the personhood of whoever is pregnant. No one, no person, not even a fetus, should get to diminish that personhood because of their own needs. I will affirm, again and again and again, that we have a right to our own bodies, free of exception or caveat.

Thats what protecting abortion access means. Trusting and respecting the person who is pregnant with their own body. Knowing all the ways in which the world can be a difficult, complex, even painful place, and knowing that in those difficult and complicated situations- more choices is always the kindest thing you can give a person.

Its ok to feel uncomfortable with abortion. Your instincts to protect a group of people are good instincts. Your empathy is a good trait. But by only focusing on the fetus, and not getting into the murky weeds of why people sometimes need the choice of abortion, you’re cutting yourself off from a whole other group of people who could also really use some of that empathy. And that lack of nuance and understanding can lead to a lot of people suffering and hurting far far more than otherwise.

It’s OK to want there to be fewer abortions. I want there to be fewer abortions! Universal Healthcare, subsidized prenatal and child care, increased protections for domestic abuse and sexual assault survivors, guaranteed paid parental leave, increased access to contraceptives- these things do reduce the frequency of abortion, but still leaves that option available for those who need it, whatever their reason and circumstance.

ohyeah:

Reblog this to prove your blog was made before the February 2022 tumblr resurgence

elodieunderglass:

headspace-hotel:

headspace-hotel:

headspace-hotel:

headspace-hotel:

thyrell:

captain-price-officially:

Have y’all tried marrying people you like?

imagine opening the newspaper over your morning coffee and the first article is a piece by your wife about how much she fucking hates you

Oh god I just looked this up and it’s…worse than I was anticipating tbh like it’s literally just a bunch of aimless complaining about stuff her husband does that annoys her and also her smug disdain for the idea of someone not hating their spouse is killing me

I kept waiting for it to be satire but it just. Never was satire

lady I think this might have something to do with why you’re having problems

it’s like. her problems with him mostly seem like a petty list of random annoyances. that have no fucking business being an Article. an op-ed. this should be like. a text message. to your husband. an conversation……

instead of an op-ed for the new york times

like, his snoring is keeping her awake, why,,,,,, doesn’t she just SAY THAT,,,, instead of writing…an article in the new york times………like. just talk. just use your big person adult words.

maybe get a divorce, idk.

maybe even let me have him.

SHE’S WRITING A MEMOIR ABOUT HER MARRIAGE?

Is it just me, or is it weird how Straight People™ will talk about marriage like it is fundamentally, deeply different than all other relationships, some kind of numinous torture that can’t be stopped or adjusted or examined in a productive way?

Coexisting in the same space, in the same life, with a person, displaying all your flaws, is irritating and messy and hard! But I can’t imagine relating to how fraught and intense and distressing this woman’s relationship seems.

My most long-lasting people are also those with whom my relationship modulates and buffers its own highs and lows the most. Being flung into extremes of emotion is something I associate with my most toxic, unhealthy relationships, and it has a lot to do with the inherent instability and the sense of trying to constantly wrestle with the relationship, being cast from hope to dread about it, not being given clarity or being able to communicate with the other person.

With any healthy relationship I find there’s a very calm bedrock. You know that you can talk to the person, that they will listen to you, that you are both prepared to meet each other with understanding and grace. You might be annoyed with the person, but you can just say it without letting annoyance build forever.

We all have our flaws and poorly-thought-out confessionals, and I absolutely have charity in my heart for this. I know my own marriage intimately and I certainly wouldn’t talk about it like this, but perhaps there was context that I was missing. I decided that this writer had to be tongue-in-cheek, and there had to be some kind of fascinating backstory; surely this couldn’t be right.

I ended up finding a different, 2019 essay from her:

My incredibly handsome and charming husband, who is a tenured professor and looks a solid ten years younger than his numerical age, also has a quick temper, zero depth perception, and a palsy that makes his right hand shake whenever he passes me, say, a porcelain creamer filled to the brim with liquid nitrogen. Even though he and I might’ve engaged in countless frank and illuminative discussions of our flaws, even though we might’ve laughed several times about both his palsy and the remarkable ability of liquid nitrogen to cause a searing burn when it comes into contact with living tissue, that doesn’t make the ensuing spillage and pain any less real. To be married is to have the words This is all your fault eternally poised on the tip of your tongue.

Sorry wait what the fuck is going on in that house

(via nerdyydragon)

c-ptsdrecovery:

educatedsavage:

probablyasocialecologist:

sisyphereantask:

sustainableseparatists:

rumade:

I’d divorce him too lmao

It’s never JUST about the tomatoes.

Basically!

Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls “bids.” For example, say that the husband is a bird enthusiast and notices a goldfinch fly across the yard. He might say to his wife, “Look at that beautiful bird outside!” He’s not just commenting on the bird here: He’s requesting a response from his wife—a sign of interest or support—hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.

The wife now has a choice. She can respond by either “turning toward” or “turning away” from her husband, as Gottman puts it. Though the bird-bid might seem minor and silly, it can actually reveal a lot about the health of the relationship. The husband thought the bird was important enough to bring it up in conversation and the question is whether his wife recognizes and respects that.

These bidding interactions had profound effects on marital well-being. Couples who had divorced after a six-year follow-up had “turn-toward bids” 33 percent of the time. Only three in 10 of their bids for emotional connection were met with intimacy. The couples who were still together after six years had “turn-toward bids” 87 percent of the time. Nine times out of 10, they were meeting their partner’s emotional needs.

The Secret to Love Is Just Kindness

Those who showed genuine interest in their partner’s joys were more likely to be together.

The Atlantic

Damn, this made me think of all the “shouting into the void” social media posts everyone makes. Just bids for connection. From ANYONE.

I think that is ABSOLUTELY what a lot of that is. Our culture is very isolated (even BEFORE covid!), and we’re desperate to connect with others. I read an article one time that suggested that childcare workers stop saying that a child is “Just wants attention” and start saying that the child is “looking for connection.” We’re starved for it even from childhood.

(via skelebeee)

ruler-of-barrington:

Adding Jason Isaacs into the cast of sex education, huh? Well played, Netflix, well played.

bitchofthewest:

Otis x Maeve might have worked better in the beginning but now it’s just… Boring.

At this point it feels like they just don’t work well as a couple. Seeing them as friends and having fun together without all the drama and miscommunication is so much better??

alphabeticalcrabattical:

Shout out to fanfic writers who write their favourite characters into incredibly specific niches like complex academic studies or horse taming or the intricacies of the fashion industry or historical politics just because they love it. I do in fact want to learn about your niche interests disguised as a slash fic, thank you

(via satans-codpiece)

brawlcloud:

wouldst thou like to live deliciously? haha I jest! lest…?

maekar76:

horror film favorites

cannibalslasher:

women in horror + mbti; thomasin (the vvitch)

infp: INFPs are sensitive and empathetic, and engage themselves in a lifelong quest for meaning and authenticity. The mundane aspects of life are of less interest to this type, and they are more excited by interesting ideas than by practical facts. They typically accept others without question, and may take special interest in offbeat points of view or alternative lifestyles.

homoidiotic:

(via eufonius)

fandomrantsandtwittertakes:

porkbunjuice:

Our islands are not a playground for your little “intrepid soul search”. Pull up or fuck off

(via skelebeee)